Imagine you’re on a big boat somewhere far away. The sky is that soft mix of purple and orange, you hear the ocean waves slowly pass around you, and you’re lying right in the middle of the dock. You look up at the sky and there’s no sign of clouds and no sign of disturbance. You can feel a light breeze pass between your back and the dock.You lie there and with every breath that you take, you can hear every muscle in your body work as your heart beats louder by every beat. You’re not alone neither are you lonely, you’re just content with what you have and where you are. You’re not lost because deep inside, you know that the place you’re at now, surrounded by no one is a place you call home. Home.
When I really need some time off reality and into my imaginary heaven, I drive to the nearest beach for a few minutes to breath and close my eyes, listen to the waves disappear as it tides off the shore. I usually head over during the evening, so the night gulps the sky while I get mesmerized by the stars that twinkle in the night. I don’t pay for therapy neither do I need therapy, however it’s good to have your own imaginary world to creep into once in awhile and zone out. Zone out of all the constant and pointless drama that tends to appear whenever you don’t need it, zone out from knowing all the people you know, and just be alone.
You tend to be just like that boat. You’re in the sea and yet, you’re not alone. You’re surrounded by your thoughts, that song that you have stuck in your head for the past few weeks. You’re just existing and for once, it’s all that you needed to be – to exist. A state of mind that seems so familiar, so close to heart, and every time you’re in need of going into it, it seems so strange and unfamiliar.
You breath in and you breath out. You try to control what’s happening at that moment and yet, you can’t. You’re spiraling away and you feel somehow in control. You like it and it’s exactly what you needed.