I don’t like talking about this and I don’t like explaining this to people. I sometimes feel as an outsider however, I decided to tackle this topic to explain. As I was sitting in Starbucks, I received a text message from a friend:

“Leyla, you’re always at Starbucks, do you ever go out?”


I’m not this anti-social freak neither am I an introvert. Don’t get me wrong, everyone knows me as a super hyper and energetic individual and that’s mostly true. I love to meet new people, help them any way I can, and network my way around. Yet, my ideal of going out is a lot different than the people surrounding me. Let me explain.

When people ask me to go out, it’s usually after eight until two or three in the morning. First flag. I live with my parents and I have a curfew which means my butt better be at home by twelve, hence makes me the girl who leaves early and misses the fun as it starts. I hate being the girl with strict parents, because in reality, they aren’t as strict but neither am I accustomed to be out late either. My second huge flag raises when I ask what we’re doing. The answer is usually bar hopping in the streets of Old San Juan or standing at a pointless bar in Santurce, surrounded by many people who are getting wasted. That could be my scene once in awhile however not something I’d like to do.

I want to go to a restaurant, a lounge, or even a normal bar, go walking on the beach, hike or simply go explore the island: Old San Juan, Condado, Ponce, etc. I like quietly sitting down somewhere with friends, watching some smoke their cheap cigarettes as I order my drink, jump up when my favorite song is playing and just take a deep breath and relax. For me, this is heaven. I don’t want to be awkwardly standing at a bar and considering it to be fun because it isn’t for me. I want to socialize and talk over dinner. I want to get to know my friends and be comfortable. I want to do something much more calming than bar-hop because in reality, that’s technically what Puerto Rico has to offer: bars. Sorry not sorry.

I’m usually not the type of person who likes to get drunk or wasted, neither am I the one who’s willing to do crazy and immature actions but I am fun. I like to be sarcastic, and I don’t know why I’m proving something to you.. Anyways.

So when my friends call me a party-pooper, I don’t mind. I also don’t mind when friends continuously bug me for not being as social as them and hence be the reason of why I don’t date. The list goes on and on of the outcomes of my choices by not going out. I’d rather be at Starbucks, sipping on my Skinny Latte with Caramel, and reading the news and pretend I’m studying. I enjoy drinking coffee and chatting, I enjoy all these things that tend to be not of interest to the people I usually hang out with and that’s okay. 

Whoever joins me on my non-exciting journey, will be rewarded a cookie. Welcome to the dark side.


Posted by:leylajv

3 replies on “Loner Alert

  1. I identify with this entry so much. For the longest time, I didn’t feel that I fit in with most of the people I met, because their idea of hanging out was getting drunk and small talk.

    I prefer sitting down, developing an interesting coversation of whatever musings come to the mind, in a calmer atmosphere. I enjoy the unobstructive music that creates the ambient background of the place. I could choose to drink or not, could sip some coffee or tea, have some food, but that shouldn’t be the main focus. I like to create experiences with the people I meet, rather than drown them in a plethora of incoherent stimuli.

    I’d slightly disagree on one part. PR has more to offer than just bars. It’s just that’s what the general population finds as most entertaining. There’s a ton of nice places around; you should take some of that solitary time and explore around a bit, get to know your surroundings better. Who knows, you might find a new cozy spot.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree, sometimes we all just need that space to find who we are. Puerto Rico has lots to offer. We also choose who we hangout with. Yes; the streets get bad after 10pm, so having a cerfew is 100% ok, parents know best when they protect their children. Your not a loner, you are you and nobody needs to judge who you are. Great post! Now lets catch up on our relax mode over coffee. 😉


  3. Strange that you don’t know enough people to hang out as you want to. I mean, I thought there is no problem like that in abroad. Since I was leaving in Germany, I didn’t this problem at all.( even considering that Germans are less social people than majority in Europe) But it turns out that in Puerto Rico you can have such kind of troubles. Anyway, hope your circle of people will change in time and you will find enough interesting people to go out.

    In my case, I also prefer “fun” like you have described and thanks to other people around me, I have this kind of fun. Wish you the same. And yeah,leaving party before everybody gets drunk, is ok 🙂


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