A couple years ago, I would walk by and stare at women who I would consider to be better than I was and roll my eyes. A woman with amazing glutes? I would mumble to myself that she got implants. A woman in heels walking to Starbucks with an attitude? Could she scream attention any louder? 

It was as if I was constantly in a competition – I needed to become the better one, better than the woman beside me. I wouldn’t support the women who acted the way they wanted to, I would scold at them, feeling upset and jealous. I wanted what those ‘better’ women had:  a specific body shape, the intelligence, clothes I could never buy, the attitude I could never master – the jealousy kicked in. I hated the fact that they had it and I didn’t. I detested the idea of being weaker than them. I was in a competition and I was coming in last.

Where did you get your ripped jeans? I love them on you!

What I’m describing might not be as vulgar or straightforward as it truly is, yet I want you to understand as I’m magnifying it, because this is a serious issue to be discussed and comprehended: I didn’t support women, I saw them as competition. I saw them as my enemies. I’m not the only one who does this. We do this. Women do this. 

I heard someone mention how women are never as supportive of one another as men are. Women don’t applaud each other for their achievements, they don’t compliment each other knowing the other needs it. We’re human, we all are. Not a surprise when I say that most women suffer from depression, self-esteem issues, and lack confidence. All women know that because at one time of our lives, we’ve gone through it. Some survived it, overcame the fear, while some still suffer. This is where support comes in. This is where a simple smile and a “Oh my God, I love your shoes!” comes in. As simple as that, we’re supporting one another. As soon as we think differently, we begin a movement of teamwork.

I love your shirt It looks so good on you!

When a man calls out a compliment, it’s obviously nice to hear but we always think the reason behind it. Does he want something? Whereas when a woman compliments, we don’t think about whether it’s fake or for special intentions. We tend to not even wonder why, we begin to believe the words and we start believing in exactly what the compliment was about. Most women say the truth and why not use the truth to build ourselves?

I grew up thinking that always having a ‘bitchy’ face might make me look superior or even powerful, but it doesn’t. A smile does. A simple smile and a few kind words could be the cure of many’s sufferings. Why can’t we all come together and support one another? Why do we have to look at things with an envious opinion? Why can’t we be happy about how a woman has what she has, does what she does, and talks the way she talks?

After my realization that the way most women act isn’t the way they should, or should I say – we should, I began changing the way I think about things. I began giving compliments to various strangers, taking accomplishments of many as  motivation rather than a competitive trait. I took successful women as a push to become better with them rather than against them.

Next time you see a woman standing beside you, across from you or behind you – say hi. Smile and shoot her a compliment. Make her day and let her feel beautiful and comfortable. You never know, you might be the reason of her smile. We’re not in a war against each other anymore. It’s time to close that chapter of our thick book and move on to a better plot.

Be a woman, support and help each other any way that you can.


Posted by:leylajv

3 replies on “Me, Myself, and US

    1. Hi Rovshan,
      To clarify, feminism is an act/belief that both genders: female and male must be equal: in life, in the professional area, personal lifestyle, etc. In my post, I clearly talk about being self-conscious, being self-aware of your own body, your own state, and mind.

      Hence, if I’m a feminist, of course I am. Does this post have anything to do with feminism? Not really.

      Thank you for visiting and reading! Hope you’re back!


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